A.Visionary

yeah...i don't need your pity either.

falling away from you always seems to tragic in my mind.
but pain has never been so brilliant.
there are many things i want to tell you.
many things i need to tell you.
but you won't hear me out.
are you deaf to my cause?
do you only want me for what i have, are my resources good enough for you?
but i am not?
i feel like a hamster running in a wheel.
going nowhere, nowhere fast, nowhere at all.
i do not want this kind of life, i only want to be happy...why is that so hard for you to understand?
i cannot be happy by myself, i cannot be happy with anything...perhaps you are right i am wrong to be so pathetic, perhaps you are right i can do better, but at the end of the day i don't want to, i know you've done wrong, and i'm sure you realize it as well.
i know you better than anyone has...i know your ins & outs. what you like and dislike, and i cannot get someone that has been a major part of my life for 2 years out of my head just like that...
i do not want to live like this, going from day to day, wondering what is going to trip someone off, what is going to make someone hate me so much they pit everyone against me!
i do NOT deserve that treatment..
all i am to you is a car, money & thats it. i am human i do not want to be put back on the shelf used up & emotionless.
my emotions where beaten from me, i am trying to reclaim them, all i know is heartbrokeness & pain...maybe thats why i cant be happy w/ anything..maybe.
now that i have poured my heart out for you you know how i feel, you will more than likely do nothing. simply cos you don't truly care about me unless you want something, and that is sad.
i'm sorry kimberly, but i am a human being, not an object to manipulate.
i hate you, but sadly enough i do still love you, why? why i dont know...why does it matter..cos in the end...nothing seems to matter to you. not me, not natasha. not anyone that tries to help you.
now watch after this post...i get shit on even more. cos my feeling are out in the open..and that leaves me open for manipulation and shit...but it's ok, it's okay...i'll survive...i hope...good-bye.

posted by Bergen @ 8:26 PM