NEW RULES.
New Rule:
The next major destructive storm must be called Hurricane George. You've earned it buddy congratulations. You are officially a Category 5 president.
New Rule: If your razor has five blades it's not a razor it's a weed-whacker. With the new Gillette Fusion razor the first blade lifts the stubble the second severs the hair follicle the third slices your skin the fourth scrapes bone marrow and the fifth was used by O.J. Simpson to kill his wife, and he wants it back.
New Rule: No more nudity on billboards. You know I'm all for sex in advertising but not where horny men drive. I don't want to launch into a big lecture about safety but the other day the guy in front of me slammed on his brakes to gawk and the woman who was blowing me almost hit her head on the steering wheel!
New Rule: If you give a nine-year-old a hunting rifle expect to have a hole in your head next to the one you already have.Fathers are signing up their kids to win free hunting trips. Great time to find out she's pissed about not getting that doll. I'm sorry but the first time your daughter should see a shotgun is at her wedding when she's 14.
New Rule: Just because we have an obligation to rebuild New Orleans doesn't mean we have to put it back in the same place. For $200 billion we could put the French Quarter on the moon. Why don't we put it someplace it can stay out of harm and do some good? After all, New Orleans is the Big Easy, and a lot of America is uptight. Which is why I say we put New Orleans in Kansas. What do you say Kansas? Put down your hoes and come meet some. Welcome New Orleans to the land that fun forgot. An infusion of color and gayness in the dry Kansas plain. Why, it'll be as if they shot "The Wizard of Oz" on location. New Orleans is one of the great towns. It's my kind of town an outpost of free living and sophistication in a sea of well now sea. You can't tell me that the giant swath of red America that Kansas sits in the middle of wouldn't benefit from thousands of insane Creoles who understand that hangovers only happen to people foolish enough to stop drinking. I read this week that the strippers have gone back to work in New Orleans. They don't even have clothes, and already they're taking them off. Kansas could use some of that spirit. It could use some jazz, some blues...some blacks. The people of New Orleans are the most tolerant of all Americans. I mean for Christ's sake they put up with Anne Rice and as an extra bonus, they're French, and that'll really piss off Bush. When the French land right in the middle of Bob Dole's Viagra farm. So don't think of it as a million-and-a-half black people moving in next door. Think of it as the "March of the Penguins." Only, you know, with a million-and-a-half black people. Yes, I see a shining city on a plain. New Orleans, Kansas. Where people are learning. They're learning that a gay pride parade isn't something to fear; it's something to laugh at. So what do you say, Kansas? They need a home. You need to get the stick out of your ass. It's a win-win Come on, Kansas, show some curiosity, show some compassion. But most of all, show us your tits
Kanye West.
in the recent huricane katrina relief show kanya west said " president bush doesnt care about black people." but what most people i'm sure didnt notice is the other "stars" that were there and their reactions to his comments, like mike meyers, he was thinking "dude, i'm canadian.." and then they go to chris tucker and you can tell on his face he's wondering "where is jackie chan?!"
anyhow, i was watching CNN the other day and mr cheney our second in command was in new orleans, and someone said to him " go fuck yourself mr. cheney" now you tell he's in the south, even w/ the disaster that hit new orleans tehy still kept their southern hospitality by saying "mr cheney". but, i'm glad someone said what most everyone thinks now, now i wish he's stop mercury poisoning bald eagles.
This is an older one...
You're pushing me back
But I pass right through you
I'm slippin' through your cracks
I wanna get close to you
But you just won't let me in
You're pullin' away
So my hands can't touch you
So you can't feel my pain
And there's no secrets
Between you and yesterday
How do I get through to you there's no one in this world
Who wants you more than I want you
You hide behind walls
From the one's that love you
The one you fear you might fall for
And it's hard to ignore
The error in your ways
You must be so lonely
Long must I wait
For the sun to finally rise behind your eyes... or will you throw it all away
You wake up in the morning and clear your head
You sometimes think you'd be better off dead
You drive to work in a beat up car
You know where you're going
You don't know where you are
You might think you could be happy someday
You work a crap job, you don't know why
You follow your orders, you never blink an eye you listen to them scream and
You listen to them yell
You watch them create your own little private hell
You go to bed but you cannot sleep you wonder how you're gonna make it through the week
You finally doze off, you fall into a dream
You are the puppet who wants to cut it's strings.
Prozac.
I'm gonna spend another night all by myself
Like a loser on the outside looking in
No one cares if I disappear and don't come back
Cause the only friends I have are in my head
And I know that I'm alive but I feel dead
I wanna be that guy that gets the girl and saves the world
Then everyone would wanna be like me, be like me
I wanna be that guy that's got it made gets overpaid
Then everyone would wanna be like me
Confidence and ego trips I never took
You'll never know the places that I've been
Who is gonna sell me a miracle
Cause every star I've wished on fades away
And my universe gets dimmer every day
Who amI to blame
There's nothing I can change
Everything's the same
Slips
You know, freudian slips are the most amazing things Freud was right when he said everything, and i mean EVERYTHING could be interpreted to hold, terrible (not to mention graphic at times) sexual content. The amt of freudian slips today was.. astounding, to say the least. I almost died laughing at the whole wongman jyaas tarinder.Like.. when this fella commented that water was her colour, enthusiastically exclaiming that she looked good wet! and when I exclaimed that cat just did a langer... HAH! Cat did a langer! Do u know how WRONG that sounds. That kinda lead me to think about Dracula and how poor Stoker thought that "faugh" - whatever that is, was terribly bold. The poor fella would not want to read Top Girls. Heh, cultural advancement? Heh, I just think that the Id now prevails as poor, poor Superego becomes oh so confused with the rights and wrongs of social correctness!
The Feeding/The Homefront.
ALice got her meal today, the store was out of pinky's so i found the cutest smallest mouse i could find, he was so cute running around the cage for 5-10 minutes cleaning istself getting adjusted to it's new home then it made the mistake of running in front of ALice's hide-box and bam! just like that it was over for the little fella, i got pictures of it all, i'll get them on here sometime it's pretty amazing looking.
As far as Pittsville goes (my hometown) it's still the same ole small ass town, i ran into a couple people i knew from high school, they were like "wow you changed" and i don't see how i did but it's a good thing they think so cos i'd hate to be the same kinda of person i use to be back in the day, bleh i was so nasty.And i also met my old neighbor Ed he was so drunk he was actually nice and we shot the shit for 4-5 hours in front of a fire, his daughter and son were there too, mel finally turned 18, and marcus is in 8th grade now. i kind of miss the simplier times, not really i think if i lived w/ my parents again i's be sooo fucking fat right about now it's not even funny, trying to push food on my all the time it's like mom i just had supper do i need another meal 45 minutes later? i eat once a day right now, if that. i'm not use to eating so much. and my mother telling randy to buy me beers at the brewer game, i dont even enjoy beer, i had to explain that to her 3 times this weekend. oh well, it was nice to see the parents again, they're nice people once you get past the "weirdness".
peace.
Tattoo Part 2
it's a pretty nice peice, i've got 3-4 sessions left on it, going to cover the whole lower arm. w/ negative spaced kanji in it. i hope to get more work done soon by lisa she's the best. so gentle..haha yeah..peace.
