Thursday, August 11, 2005

Act Fast!

or don't, a strange thing happened to me yesterday, i look at my phone, 5 txt messages from kim, the one caught my eye and truly it still has me worried, she said "i need your help" now i don't know what for or why, but now that she's back w/ natasha she's ignoring me, if it wasnt for that i think i'd have an easier time communicating, but when you have someone filling your head with thoughts that arent true, vindictive and just out right cruel, things kind of get distorted....know what i'm saying? all that i want to do is reconcile in some form or another, forgiveness, new relationship, anything. it's really bad when i ask pete and joe(coworkers) if she ate...i worry too much, i don't know why since it's clear that she doesnt want anything to do w/ me.
yes, i am truly pathetic, but have you been in a relationship with someone for over a year and just forgotten about them in less than a month? to me it's still fresh.i've got no where else to go, i wish i had the magical words to make someone come back to me, if i did i'd use them in a heartbeat...and everything would be fine again. the world could return to it's normal rotation rate.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

where the hell...

is carmen sandiego??
i'd like to know that and what is going on in my life, i'm running at top mental speed lately i need to relax, 4 hours a sleep a night isnt good for someone my age, but i just want things to be right again in my life. how to do this....i have no idea! working on the solution as we speak.i'm glad i have work to keep my sane...even though it's just a big "rumormill" we had a 2 hour long poweroutage there last night, good ole thunderstorms it's about time it rains here...hmm i've been writting lately too, i know im not the most creative fella out there but i have so much on my mind right now i got plenty of motivation to get some of it out..took me forever to find a notebook though.....i dont know why but i had one in the car.
i don't know i just hope my life will take itself in the right direction..or better yet i'll have to steer it there...sounds like a plan to me....so i'll be working on it...till my dream(s) are realized...i just won't give up.